Why Unconditional Love Can Be Scary
And why it’s the only thing you want.
Unconditional love is the inclusion of all.
It doesn’t mean everything is soft and fluffy and skipping through daisies.
Because unconditional love includes all the hurt, all the turbulence, all the upset.
It includes stating no clearly, and it includes yelling no in resistant defence.
And yes it includes happiness and joy and delight.
And it also includes disappointment and grief and despair.
Unconditional love is the inclusion of all. It is the absence of reaction and resistance.
And from an absence of reaction and resistance is birthed a clear, clean, conscious response.
But unconditional love is scary
It’s scary because you’ve been brought up in a human world.
A human world which is only beginning to wake up to all that is possible.
A human world which is currently working with alot of trauma in the collective consciousness.
Trauma which leads to reactive resistance.
Even to the good stuff.
Think about it
When something ‘bad’ happens — like when a customer gives you terrible feedback. Like when a boss brings you in for a performance conversation. Like when you’re headed for bankruptcy. Like when your partner’s been cheating on you. Like when your kid’s going off the rails. Like when life’s a struggle and nothing’s going your way.
With all of these it’s considered socially acceptable to react to this. To feel guilt and shame. To blame — yourself or another. To judge. To criticise. To push away. To shout. These are the reaction of a defensive, fearful system.
Now consider the opposite, when something ‘good’ happens — like when you hit a business milestone. Like when you bring in an extra big bonus. Like when you feel incredulous at what you’ve achieved. Like when you have the most perfect relationship. Like when your kids are flying. Like when everything’s effortlessly going your way.
With all of these it’s considered socially acceptable to play this down. To diminish the achievement. To minimise. To brush it off. To follow it up with…but it might not last. To jump in quick with ‘well they’re not that perfect’. These are the reaction of a defensive, fearful system.
Because you’ve learnt to react and resist the good and the bad.
You’ve been taught to ‘be better, try harder, achieve more’ while at the same time being taught ‘don’t be too big for your boots, don’t show off, don’t make them feel bad’.
Do you see how it’s a lose-lose game?
Lose-lose when we look at it logically at least.
But it’s a ‘win’ when viewed through the lens of a fearful, trauma-laced system. Because to ‘win’ means to survive. And to survive means ‘keep your head down, don’t stand out, stay in the tribe, don’t be rejected’.
And so you keep yourself limited in the comfortable discomfort of ‘lose-lose-but-safe’.
And this is why unconditional love is scary
Because unconditional love says it can all come in.
It says all these experiences are welcome.
All these things you’ve been working so hard, all your life, to keep at arms length, are allowed.
And so your human system reacts in fear and says ‘noooooooo!’.
This is why you get drawn to change, and then pull back.
This is why you get bursts of commitment to have a different life, and then get distracted.
This is why you start courses that promise shifts, and then something ‘just so happens’ to take you away from it.
This is why you react against the coach or practitioner who who invites you to look honestly at everything you’ve been avoiding.
To your human system this all looks terrifyingly unsafe.
But unconditional love is the only thing you want
Because it is the truth of who you are — before all the human programming and trauma conditioning.
Because it is the feeling of you in alignment with yourself and with life.
Because it is the absence of reaction and resistance.
And from an absence of reaction and resistance is birthed a clear, clean, conscious response.
Right for you. Right for them. Right for the whole.
And this is everything that you want.
With love, Helen
If you are ready to open to unconditional love, I have a great programme for you.
It’s for people who know they’ve been going round and round in cycles of reaction, resistance and fear — even to the good stuff — and who are ready to include it all.
It’s for people who have the courage to look honestly and lovingly at everything they’ve been pushing away. Not the stories of it — not the ‘my mum did this to me’ stuff. But looking honestly at everything that’s right here in your human system right now — the actual experience of the thoughts, feelings and physical body. The actual experience of your spiritual nature. And the inclusion of it all.
It’s for people who are ready to meet themselves exactly as they are.
Because it’s this which transforms reaction to response.
It’s this which transforms tangle and clutter into clarity.
If you’re ready for this, join us.
The programme is still running with live calls till the end of October. So you get to join us in those. Or go back to the replays of the workshops since February. Or both!
All of it is designed to take you deeper with yourself, into unconditional love and the inclusion of all.
