Calm isn’t in the avoidance of chaos

It’s in discovering that calm is at the very heart of chaos.

The conceptual mind sees chaos and says “not this, make it change, make it stop”.

Then it shouts “we need to find the calm!” and jumps into activity to try and reclaim calm — tell the child to go to their room, make the terrible employee stop doing that work so badly, get through all the emails to clear the decks, tell someone (in real life or on social media) to get it off your chest.

Or maybe have a drink or some food.

Or maybe meditate or do yoga or go for a walk.

Now notice — none of these things are wrong or bad. My purpose here is to show the back-to-front way we’re using these things.

When we do these things in order to feel OK we are denying the discomfort of the apparent chaos. We believe we can’t handle it so we try to block it out or change it. We get temporary relief when the chaos appears to stop.

Phew! Now I’m OK. Calm is restored…except…there’s this nagging voice, a persistent vigilance…what if it comes back? What if chaos happens again?

Maybe we do more emails, walk more, drink more, meditate more…to ease that thought too.

Can you feel the lack of calm in this experience? The lack of peace when we believe there are some things we can’t allow into our experience because we think they’re not OK.

Instead, when you see that calm is the essence of you and the essence of chaos, there’s nothing to change to make you feel OK. Now you’ve truly found the calm right at the heart of the chaos. Now you can stand with whatever is happening; grounded and centered — not because you’re trying to, not because you’re applying a strategy to be calm, but because you know (beyond an intellectual knowing) that every thing — and therefore every experience — is the same calm that is the essence of you.

Now you might find yourself doing yoga, or walking, or replying to emails — but with all desperate ideas of “needing to do this in order to be OK” disappeared from your reality.

If this all sounds crazy to you, begin with this — when your mind is quiet, what do you feel? What’s that experience?

That which you feel is your essence. It’s what you really are. It never appears or disappears. It’s the ever-present calm behind the dramatic foreground experience — including behind all chaos.

With love, Helen

I work with people who want a quieter mind and a more fulfilling life. They’re smart, passionate people who are curious about there being a better way. They’ve worked hard to get to here and yet something’s still missing: ‘is this it?’. In our work we explore and reconnect you to innate brilliance so you rediscover the real happiness, real security and real balance that you are. Find out more here.